How Do You Talk with Families?

9/3/2013

60 Comments

Using positive communication techniques, how would you handle this scenario?

Dad is yelling at his son because the son does not want to stay at the childcare center. Dad is extremely frustrated because he is late for work.

60 Comments

Esther

9/6/2016 09:45:13 pm

I would try to redirect the child. I would comfort him and tell him the fun activities we had planned for the day. I would reassure him that daddy will pick him when he is done working.

Morgan Hamilton

9/8/2016 10:16:10 pm

I would calmly try to engage the child in a fun activity or get them to interact with friends they tend to play with often to redirect their attention. If that isn't a successful option, we often allow the children to wave out the window to their parents, while reminding them in a comforting and reassuring voice that their parents will be back to pick them up from school after work was over. It is important as an educator to help relieve the parent of the tense situation with their child by trying to help, but always asking if the parent would like help first because sometimes the parent doesn't want assistance with their child. Quick communication is important in these situations.

Dani H

9/10/2016 10:33:37 pm

I would intervene and assist the father and child. If the scenario becomes a regular occurrence then I would offer suggestions to the father on how to make drop offs smoother for everyone. Often the parent's irruption fuels the situation and makes it hard on both the parent and the child. Offering a calm and open greeting to the child can help diffuse the situation, If necessary I would distract the child and offer reassurance to help them calm down. Once calm I would make sure they knew a parent/guardian would be back for them later in the day and discuss the days schedule to give them a better idea of what to expect and when.

Kate

9/11/2016 01:59:17 pm

I would calmly talk to the child and tell them maybe of an exciting activity we will be doing for the day. I would also then redirect the child's attention to something something they can do, play, or help out with. I would also see if they would like to stand at the window to wave goodbye and reassure them that their dad will be back to pick them up.

Dilrabo

9/11/2016 05:09:55 pm

At that situation I will take kid's attention for other activity or thing which is his favorite to do. I'm sure it works 100% always. In this case you should know every kid's interests and character who is in your care.

Payam Khastkhodaei

9/12/2016 10:59:06 am

The best thing to do is redirect the child's attention to a different activity, usually something he/she really enjoys, and then let the dad leave in that time.

Simegn

9/13/2016 08:34:30 am

I will try to destruct the child with other fun stuff and comfort and reassure the child that Dad will be back to pick him up like he always does.

Tessa

9/17/2016 04:54:31 pm

I would redirect the child, and try to engage the child with the other kids, and try to calm down the dad.

Micaela P

9/19/2016 12:01:58 am

A lot of responses here discuss handling this situation by redirecting the child's attention, and I absolutely agree. In this scenario, redirecting the child's attention to an exciting activity would encourage the child to be interested in staying at the childcare center. The father would then be able to calm down, stop yelling, and rush off to work.

Kaitlyn

9/19/2016 10:42:41 am

I would get down to the child's level and explain what time dad would be returning and show him on the clock what it would look like and allow the child to give dad one last hug before leaving.

Jaya

9/20/2016 02:05:45 pm

I would distract the child with a toy or activity that he/she usually likes so they get their minds off of the previous situation and change that to a positive by bringing something fun for them to play with and reassure tat their parent will be back.

Maria Zamora

9/20/2016 06:21:45 pm

Mostly distraction works

Yumiko Mendez

9/25/2016 01:44:23 pm

I would go over to the child calmly and with a smile. Then I would engage the child in some way by giving them a special task for the morning. They can help me to do something. It is unclear what the child wants, but if I come into that space I would try to redirect the child's attention toward play and the classroom and then I would stay with that child until they felt at ease and could play or be a part of the class on their own again. If this is a pattern with the child and father I may try to work with the child and parent to find a solution that works for everyone.

dhanya

9/27/2016 10:26:07 pm

In that situation i can try to distract the kid with his favorite things like toys or story book

ella rock

9/28/2016 04:43:39 pm

Sometimes people get frustrated especially if it involves work. I would simply try to distract the child and involve them in a fun activity. I would tell them all the fun we are going to have that day and that daddy will be back soon.

Wendy

10/11/2016 10:54:32 am

I would redirect the child's attention to the other children. Later I would give the father a note about how that behavior is disruptive to the classroom environment.

Beth

10/11/2016 03:00:37 pm

I would tell the child what I wish I could tell the dad to say without being openly critical of this parenting tactic. I would say "Hey Billy, I know you are sad because you love your daddy and want to play with him at home but your dad needs to go to work today to take care of some important things. He is not mad at you and wishes he didn't have to go to work either. I think your dad is just frustrated he can't be with you and worried about being late. He wants you to have fun at school and he will come pick you up as soon as he is done with work. We're going to have fun at school today! Let's go see what your friends are building with these blocks. Or is there another toy you would rather play with? Do you want to play with Playdoh?

Brianne Frazier

10/15/2016 03:28:35 pm

in order for the child to calm down i would calmly talk to billy about what is in store for our day today. i believe yelling doesn't solve anything. also i would say "hey billy i know you want to stay with your dad but we got to stay here and have fun." "do you want to show daddy your a big boy and let him go to work. that way when you see him you can tell him all about your great day at daycare"

Maria

10/18/2016 09:04:57 pm

I would explain to the child that Dad has to go to work, but will come pick them up after we do some fun things today. I would then redirect them to a different activity.

Delia Cano Garcia

10/20/2016 09:34:22 pm

I would take a child, hold him/her and redirect the child attention to an activity that i would know he/she likes. When dad comes to pick his child up i would have a discussion with him about how could we improve the child transition into classroom next time.

Karlee McCarroll

10/20/2016 10:38:34 pm

I would approach the child and try to engage him in some kind of activity with me and other kids or even just engage in a conversation with me so his father can step out and leave. Usually this works like a charm and child is completely fine after a minute.

Hayley Lautt

10/31/2016 08:13:07 pm

I would try to get the childs attention, asking them if they would like to play an activity with me while comforting them telling them dad will be back after work to get them.

Miko

11/6/2016 04:26:32 pm

I would approach the father and son and get down on the child's level. I would say to the child but so that the father could hear me that I see he is quite upset this morning, and that I also see that his daddy is running late for work. I would suggest we wave and say goodbye to daddy and then ask the child to tell me why he doesn't want to come today and I would listen to him. If he was afraid of being left out of something from home or with his father we could draw a picture to give his dad when he picked him up. If the child hadn't gotten to eat breakfast or drink his milk because they were running late I would get him a snack if possible. If the child had concerns about something that had happened in the classroom last time he was here I would listen and come up with suggestions of things we can try today for a different outcome.

Karen

11/7/2016 04:54:41 pm

I would intervene by approaching and visibly letting the father know I am going to help. I would then step in and do what is age appropriate for the child to redirect them to an activity in the classroom. That may be asking the child for help with something, grabbing a favorite toy for them to play with, or just reaching out to unwrap the child's arms from around the father's legs allowing dad to leave the room. I would also be letting the father l know I will handle it and that their child will be fine in a few minutes. I may also suggest that he give me a call once he is settled in at work if he can to check in so that I can reassure him the child did transition into the classroom just fine. If I know that isn't possible,I will try to snap a happy picture of his child at some point during the day to drop into the sign out folder. I maintain a calm professional demeanor during the whole process for both parent and child as I help transition in the moment.

Yesenia A.

11/8/2016 12:20:54 pm

I would communicate by asking if I could help in holding the child and figuring how to calm the child down, so the child feels safe then connect with the parent during the day and at the end of the day, for smooth drop offs and pick up, for them and their child.

Marci Gochnour

11/8/2016 06:40:42 pm

First let the parent know that you understand their frustration.
You do not want to disregard their parenting even if it is not "proper" Next I would get down to childs eye level and let him or her know that I understand that they are feeling upset but that daddy is going to work and will come surprise us later. Then I would redirect child to a new activity.

Channing

11/11/2016 09:48:56 pm

In this situation, I would give the dad space to speak to his son, and at the first available moment I would get down to his son's level and say, "hello (name)! I am so happy you are here. I am excited to play with you and (explain activities of the day.) I see your dad is in a hurry to get to work, he goes to work everyday, doesn't he? He is angry, because you won't let him leave. It is very important for him to go to work so he can help take care of you." Overall, I would use my words and try to connect to the son's excitement, heart, and happiness. Writing a note to dad after he leaves always helps the child cope with their feelings, and engages the parent with the child's feelings. I would offer my lap and some one-on-one time with the son to help soothe his worries and transition into the classroom. I would also tell the dad that his son will be well taken care of, and that we'll be working on his transition stresses.

Ka'dee Comerford

12/14/2016 02:21:42 pm

I really like how you put in quotation exactly what you would say to the child! Even though all situations are different, this gives a very good reference point.

Jaleesa

11/16/2016 02:57:03 pm

I would redirect the child's attention. Either by showing them to their favorite toy to play with or maybe a special friend who is already arrived at the center. I might also encourage them to wave goodbye to their Dad out the window, its a fun little routine in the morning.

Kim

11/21/2016 11:04:53 pm

I would ask the child if he could help me get something ready. Like snack or an activity

sally

11/23/2016 01:55:24 pm

In our child development center the way we handle a child not wanting to let go of mom or dad is we pick the child up and tells the child lets watch mom or dad go, and then we wave good bye then we reassure them that their parents will get back soon.

Tracy Williams

11/25/2016 05:11:31 pm

Jennifer Overmiller

11/27/2016 08:18:30 pm

In this scenario I would happily encourage the child about something really super fun we were going to do that day and would ask the child if he/she would like to be my helper to get it set up. If the child was still upset I would pick him/her up and comfort him/her reassuring that mom or dad or who ever was going to be back after work and we could go wave goodbye out the window and go hang out in the cozy area and read a book to help get there mind off of things or offer their favorite activity.

Sherry

12/8/2016 02:31:42 pm

Redirection could be really helpful. To try and break the negative interaction that is currently going on and focus on something positive or something you already know the child enjoys or has interest in.

SAYEH RAHBAR

12/12/2016 07:33:57 pm

I would explain to the child dad has to go to work, and try to engage him/her in some kind of activity with me or other kids.

Savanna Moreno`

12/14/2016 12:30:09 pm

I would gently take the child and reassure dad that we will comfort and take care of him. I would also talk to dad to come up with a plan for future dropping off. Like, hand off to teacher, say goodbye, make it quick and go. If he tries to stay it will prolong the child's tantrum making it harder on the child and dad.

Ka'dee Comerford

12/14/2016 02:19:42 pm

I would intervene by slowly yet assertively approaching the pair and stooping down to meet the child at eye level I would attempt to redirect his attention to fun memories he's had in the past and then options of things on the agenda for the day. I would explain to him that Dad needs to go to work but that we can make a surprise for when he gets back. I would then assure Dad that the child will be fine and that I will notify him when he the child calms down. As Dad leaves I would engage the child with other students and get started on a fun activity. If this doesn't work I would let the child have some alone time with maybe an instrument or a book.

Shannon Ludvigson

12/17/2016 05:24:30 pm

I would let the parent know that i would take over from here, his child would be just fine and acknowledge that his schedule did not permit him more time to stay. I would then get down to the child's level and welcome him, letting him know that I would stay with him until he felt settled in.

Sarah Allen

12/18/2016 05:42:31 pm

In order to cope with this scenario, I would redirect the child by asking the child if he or she wanted to play with me or do a specific activity. I would let the parent know that I understand his time is important and I will stay with the child until he feels welcome and ready to be independent at school. If it became a common occurrence that was not improving, I would schedule a time to talk to the parent using positive communication channels to let the parent know that I understood their point of view, but potentially suggest solutions such as arriving earlier to allow the student more time to settle in or offering incentives or rewards for the student to motivate him or her to be excited about being dropped off at school.

Maria

12/31/2016 06:03:16 pm

I would try to get the child's attention and engage him/her with something that he/she likes. Would ask to wave goodbye to Dad so that he can go to work, reassuring the child that Dad will go back to pick him/her up.

Jessica Coulson

1/6/2017 07:29:42 pm

Beginning this interaction with an atleast non verbal "may I ? (handle this)" to the parent would be the most respectful way to start. Then, I would say I really like Beth's response about addressing the child emotionally and reassuring the child that the parent isn't really mad at the child so much as stressed because they are late for work and reminding the child they what kind of fun activities are available and specifically offering something a favorite and waving off the parent. The yelling will probably become crying and offering consolation or a stuffy and a spot in the quiet area if this is refused will help give the child a space to work out there emotions. After a while offering comfort again to the child or perhaps offering for them to write a letter or make a picture for their dad saying I miss you and maybe even I'm sorry I made you late might help the parent and child address their emotions on the issue.

Joshua Martindale

1/14/2017 02:10:18 pm

Using positive communication techniques how I would handle this scenario --> "Dad is yelling at his son because the son does not want to stay at the childcare center. Dad is extremely frustrated because he is late for work. " In this situation, I would immediately come to the scene of the dispute between father and son and ask what the issue was that needs to be worked out. From that point, I would communicate with the father and son in small words that would help the child understand that I understand why they do not want their dad to leave and make a positive compelling case for the child that their dad needs to go away for a bit so that the father can come back and pick up the child. The other part to this scenario is that the child is afraid of something and during the conversation. Finding a way to help the child with their fear so that they can be understood and solve it is the second part to containing this dispute.

Farahia Hussein Bare

1/16/2017 10:59:17 pm

separation from their parent can be difficult for some children but communicating with the child of why daddy or mommy is leaving is important. Maybe the parent and the child need to start discussing this before arriving to school or daycare.

Andrea Estola

1/16/2017 11:07:58 pm

I would talk to the child and tell him of the fun activities we have planned for the day, I would suggest if it was at a good time to set up an activity for the child that they particularly enjoy until they have calmed down a bit. I would also talk to the father if it happened again and suggest other positive ways other than yelling that he could use to get his child to comply so that the drop off could go more smooth and efficient the next time.

Bailey Duenas

1/17/2017 06:20:34 pm

First off I would kindly ask the father to stop yelling at his son in front of his sons classmates, secondly I would try to calm down the child by offering an activity to distract him, I would also talk to the child telling him about todays activities and such while his dad leaves.

james murphy

1/19/2017 11:13:08 pm

I would try and get the child's attention away from his dad and onto the fun activities. Knowing the child's interests is important in this situation as you can often divert their minds onto something else such as playing a sport or special activity. I would also like to follow up with dad to let him know that his child transitioned into the classroom.

Chyanne

1/21/2017 07:46:52 pm

Redirection is always key i would ask if they can come be my teacher help or if they wanted to go help out with the littler kids

sarah garnett

1/23/2017 10:18:03 am

I would calming assure the parent it's ok to let the child be upset and that you'll support the child in the transition.

Andrea ofiara

1/31/2017 07:59:37 pm

I would calmly talk to the child and redirect him away from his father. Possibly find something interesting and entertaining to distract him with or have a friend come over and play with him then have the parent slip out of the room.

Rukiya Elmi

2/1/2017 02:03:06 pm

I will definitely tell the dad to calm and go on for their day.
then calm down the kid by providing them something they like or a positive game or play.

Jenee

2/18/2017 01:41:05 pm

comfort the child, distract with a activity

Karly Schroder

2/21/2017 09:30:58 pm

I would redirect the child to allow the parent to leave, but I would also be sure to mention then, or at the end of the day how he smoothly transitions into activities soon after he leaves.

Megan Rockstad

3/28/2017 03:49:11 pm

I would start by trying to redirect the child by pointing out several activities that are available. Its important to talk to the child calmly and reassure them the their parent will be back to pick them up at the end of the day.

Brian Bassett

4/6/2017 09:18:48 am

First I would engage the child, Speak calmly with them and tell them about all the fun things we were going to do that day as well as who was aleardy here wanting to play with them. Once the childs attention is appropriately focused, I would ask the dad if everything was alright. see if there is anything going on that we could help with and discuss alternate options and discuss how we both can make the childs drop off experience and behavior a more posative one.

tierra

4/27/2017 07:46:31 pm

i would redirect the child with something else and reassure him daddy will be back and its ok

Ayita Berhane

5/13/2017 07:46:14 pm

I would greet the child and parent, acknowledge the child's feelings of being upset, and redirect the child with an activity. I would also ensure the child that their dad would be back at the end of the day and encourage one last hug before he leaves. I would engage the child in actives with other children. Someone else posted about showing the child what time their dad would be back on the clock and I like that idea as well.

Rebecca Pedersen

6/24/2017 09:41:20 am

I don't believe this scenario would ever happen at the childcare I work at because we intervene instantly if a child doesn't say bye and walk away. Children will cry sometimes especially if they're new, but will calm down quickly which we reassure the parent of. Drop offs are something we put a lot of effort into to ensure they go smoothly.

Maryam Asadian

8/25/2017 06:32:54 pm

try to engage the child in a fun activity or start to play with him or her. try to explain why he have to stay here and explain his father situation.

rachel illeene wieland

10/4/2017 07:40:24 pm

I would try and redirect the child to something new and exciting

Sreyroth Chi

11/30/2017 10:42:34 pm

trying to get the kids to enjoy what they like to do and what they don't like to do.

How Do You Talk with Families?

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