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Discussion: Age-Appropriate Preschool Scenario * Module 2 Page 24 (12/13)

6/4/2016

90 Comments

 
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​​Please read the scenario, then discuss the following questions:
  1. ​Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate?
  2. If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers?
  3. Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again? 
Preschool Scenario
You have been running your own family child care home for a couple of years and have an extensive collection of dress up clothes that the children adore.  A parent has just started her three and four year old sons in your program and seems very upset when he comes to pick his boys up and finds them dressed as princesses.  This parent is concerned that dressing up in girl’s clothes is inappropriate for boys and will cause them to be confused and teased.  You are also upset because the boys love dressing up and you don’t want to restrict children’s imaginative play. 

90 Comments
Madelyn Weyer
10/31/2018 07:17:17 am

It is completely normal for this to happen in this age group. I would explain that its normal for all children to explore and see things for themselves. I do not think it needs to be prevented.

Reply
Sherrie
10/31/2018 03:23:25 pm

Yes it is very age appropriate for 3 & 4 year olds to be dressing up as a princess. I would reassure to the father that It is just pretending. Just like a girl will wear a man shirt and tie and pretend to be a daddy or business man. The same boys also love to play with trucks, trains and build with lego's.

I can not guarantee that it won't happen again because it would be more damaging to the child to try to stop them.

Reply
Joshua David Tate
11/2/2018 09:14:42 am

I agree, but I would recommend a more sensitive approach with the parents.

Reply
Stevie Marracci
12/27/2018 10:51:35 pm

I agree to try to find a common ground with the parents and explain why it’s appropriate for the age group

Taylor Clack
11/1/2018 10:44:10 am

1. I don't think this behavior is age-appropriate because if children were being teased or bullied, I would talk with the parents about how we can deal with the situation so that the children can learn how to be nice and not make fun of others.
2. I would explain to the parents about concerns that teasing and bullying can make kids have their feelings hurt and they might not interact in dramatic play or try new dress up clothes instead of girl dresses.
3. Yes, I would role play with children and teach them how to be nice and not have negative interactions. They would also have to learn how to get along better.

Reply
Joshua David Tate
11/2/2018 09:12:39 am

Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate?
If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers?
Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again?

I would explain to the parent that this behavior is age appropriate because they are exploring and it is not a punishable moment. I would also explain the parent that dressing as a princes at this age will not effect the outcome of their child in a negative way.

Reply
Melinda Tandiono
11/14/2018 07:25:30 pm

I aggree with this, however I'd still direct the kids boys will dress up as boys, and girls will be dressed up as girls. In my current work, we actually are not allowed to even read books about princesses or heroes. It is age appropriate though cause this is the stage where they are learning about themselves. I would tell the co-workers to explain the kid which of which is girls costume and which one is boys costume. A lot of communication, reminder, and attention are definitely done for the best outcome for the child care parents, and importantly the children

Reply
Israel
11/2/2018 01:36:09 pm

would listen to the parents carefully so I can address their concerns.

Reply
Beth
11/3/2018 11:20:24 pm

I do think this is appropriate aged behavior.
I would explain that all dress up items are out and available for all children to play with. They are not separated by gender or any other means. I would also explain that this is a great way for their children to express their creativity, as they may be in princess attire, but not acting the part.
I would listen to the parents concerns, and make sure other toys/activities are available at the same time, so that the children have multiple options/choices of toys/activities.

Reply
Kiera Schneider
11/4/2018 07:31:30 pm

This behavior is age apporpriate, the child is learning to explore and discover themselves. You cannot force the child to act a curtain way or dress up as one thing in this instance boys.

I would explain to the parents/ co workers that this completely normal, and we shouldn’t interfere with their explanation.

I would tell the parents that this is typical for the age. We should not jump to conclussions and assume the worst, they should allow the child to explore, and find what interests them but if the parents doesn’t want their boys too I would respect their decision and steer their child away from dressing up as a girl.

Reply
Jennifer Lee
11/4/2018 08:45:07 pm

this is normal for this age group. i would explain that this behavior is normal for this age, the children are imitating what they observe and this is how they explore their world. it is also part of imaginative play normal for that as well. I would reassure them that teasing and bullying is not allowed in the class and if they still have a concern try to address their concern by having them come in to do this play with their children and see how it is received in the classroom by other children.

Reply
Swannee Bruner
11/5/2018 12:25:43 am

I would listen to what the parents had to say so they are aware their concerns have been heard. Then I would explain that this was absolutely normal behavior for children this age, as they begin to learn and explore colors and recognize things that catch their attention. I would remind the parents that we strongly encourage children to utilize their imaginations all in fun and that while we do that within the classroom, respect is emphasized and bullying is not allowed. I would also emphasize that it is wonderful the children felt comfortable enough to share their princess look with their friends and that is usually a common and passing phase for most.

Reply
Leilanie
11/5/2018 03:08:17 pm

I think at their age it is appropriate in his behavior. And I will explain to the parents that this is part of the imaginative play and exploring of their child. And out of curiosity of being a child how does it look like that he never think what is an outcome of wearing those kind of costume. I will make sure that the parents can understand this ind of situation and tell them not to worry about this behavior

Reply
Elizabeth Camilo
11/5/2018 11:38:57 pm

This is very normal for this age. They are not limited by gender, or what is considered typical acceptable as we are. I would allow the boys to continue with their imaginative play and communicate with the parent that this is normal behavior for their age. I would acknowledge his concern and make sure the primary caregiver feels confident their child is happy and having fun.

Reply
Christine Zaugg
11/6/2018 06:56:52 pm

I think that it is age appropriate. Children at this age like to dress up and be imaginary people and thats what I will tell my parents. If the parent highly objects to it I would try to come to a comprimise.

Reply
Lucica Endo
11/6/2018 10:04:16 pm

I will tell the parents there is nothing to worry about. Children at this age play in all kinds of ways. At this developmental stage they are still exploring their role models.

Reply
Padmaja Kondeti
11/8/2018 03:45:29 pm

Firstly i will calmly listen to parents, then will explain its age appropriate because they want to try every thing . It wont effect their gender and by time they will change and their taste will differ.

Reply
Noelle
11/10/2018 05:10:02 pm

most importantly I would begin by listening fully to all of her concerns so she feels as though she has been heard and understood. Then, I would carefully explain that this is a age appropriate behavior for children. I would do so by providing supportive information on this topic. if she seems receptive to this, I may provide her with some resources to look further into how dress up and imaginative play has positive outcomes. If she seems very adamant about not having her children dress up as princess, I would work with her to find play clothes that she thinks are more appropriate so we can maintain a good relationship.

Reply
Daneka
11/11/2018 07:05:48 pm

The behavior is age-appropriate for 3-4 years olds. When speaking to the caregiver, make sure to listen to their concerns and their expectations of the child's behavior. Dressing up is a way to experience another perspective and pretend to be someone else, male or female. If the caregiver is concerned about teasing or bullying, perhaps invite them into the classroom to experience all the children playing in this way or the positive interactions between the children first hand.

Reply
Nalika Virachi
11/11/2018 09:22:17 pm

This behavior is very age appropriate as the child is exploring and being exposed to new toys and types of play around them. I would explain this to the parents and that there is no concern within the boundaries of my daycare because I would be prefer to run a non-judgmental zone. I would express that this behavior is natural and should be acknowledged as the children are learning different social norms as well. If the parents absolutely detested it I would respect their wishes and wouldn't allow the children to play with the dresses specifically but gear them towards other play options or clothing.

Reply
Sook Kyung Park
11/12/2018 02:33:24 pm

I guess you could do that if the parents still don't understand that it is a natural thing.

Reply
Sook Kyung Park
11/12/2018 02:31:54 pm

Such behavior is appropriate for this age and I would explain the parents the same way. First, I would calm the parents by saying that this is very appropriate for the children at this age. I would explain that children at that age like to play pretending. And I would also tell them it is normal for preschool boys and girls to dress up in clothes of the other sex as a way of trying out what it is like to be a man or a woman, a father or a mother. And I would tell them dressing up in play like this is a healthy way for young children to learn about and think about the world they live in. Because this is very normal healthy way for them to play, I will not do anything to prevent this from happening.

Reply
Laura Jakobsen
11/12/2018 08:44:15 pm

I believe that it is completely normal for any gender of child to dress up in clothes for any gender. All they are doing is playing a game in their head, that they are trying to make come out in real life. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And them experimenting with wearing clothes of the opposite sex will not confuse them whatsoever. There is no way of making sure this will not happen. Unfortunately, this is just a fear that some parents will have. All we can do is try to get them to understand that it is okay.

Reply
dena
11/13/2018 01:11:44 pm

I believe this is age appropriate and encourages growth and development in the child as does all active play. I would try to communicate with the parent and help them understand this. also point out other active play we can encourage in addition to if the parent is more comfortable.

Reply
Gianna Starble
11/13/2018 02:33:05 pm

It is totally age appropriate for kids of any gender at ages 3 and 4 to dress up like a variety of things, real or make believe. This is because they are in a stage where role playing and exploring what it would be like to be other people or animals is an interesting subject in figuring out their own roles in the world.
For the concerned parent of the sons in princess dresses, I would bring up the fact that its totally developmentally appropriate. That when we play dress up, most often times all the other kids are so invested in their play and are very open to the idea of their peers being anyone or anything. Any negative comments from peers will be navigated and redirected by a teacher. If the parent still seemed concerned, I would swap out the princess costumes and any gender specific costumes with more animal dress up and occupational themed costumes.

Reply
Ciara Szabo
11/15/2018 08:27:17 am

This behavior is age-appropriate for preschoolers. When speaking to the parent, make sure to listen to their concerns and their expectations of the child's behavior. Dressing up is a way to experience another perspective and pretend to be someone else, male or female. If the caregiver is concerned about teasing or bullying, perhaps invite them into the classroom to experience all the children playing in this way or the positive interactions between the children first hand.

Reply
Remya Benedict
11/15/2018 10:51:53 pm

I would let the parents know that it is totally age appropriate and nothing wrong with it. Children in this age are curious and would want to explore different things. Nothing is alarming here in this situation. Each child is different and unique in his/her own way. It is just a phase and can change anytime.

Reply
Aubri Weber
11/16/2018 10:21:01 am

I would explain to the parents that this is very age appropriate because the boys have such a great imagination at this age.

Reply
Emily Repp
11/17/2018 10:07:07 pm

I would say that there is nothing wrong with it at this age because the child is still learning and exploring their imagination

Reply
Amber
11/17/2018 10:29:02 pm

I would definitely respect the parents wishes and listen to them and their concerns.

Reply
Brooke McKay
11/19/2018 01:29:31 am

I do believe this is age appropriate. I would explain to the parent that its very common in children their age to explore what the opposite sex wears and that its all fun and pretend. I would listen to the parents concerns and make sure i addressed them respectfully and responsibly. I would insure the parent that in my class we talk about diversity and we do not allow bullying. its discussed that people are free to do what they would like and that we are a classroom free of judgement always and i would ensure them that their child was in good and safe hands
I can't say that i could or would prevent this from happening again. Students are free to express themselves in anyway and unless i had no other choice i would let the child do as they pleased since their not harming anyone.

Reply
Samantha G
11/19/2018 03:18:32 pm

I do believe this behavior is normal at this age. It is the same behavior that is expressed in girls by dressing up and wanting to be a dad/man/prince. I would also reassure the parent their child's safety and development is in good hands.
Next I would make a plan with the parent to monitor the child's dramatic play over the next few months, along with introducing both side to make sure we explore both of the genders.

Reply
Brittany McDaniel
11/19/2018 07:39:03 pm

This behavior is very normal for any 3 or 4 year old. You definitely want to present this matter in the most appropriate way that's possible especially to the father. But br sure to give positive reinforcement as to it is pretend play and most children base play on what they may see on TV, or just following others.

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Brittany C
11/19/2018 08:01:15 pm

I believe its very age appropriate. Part of growing and exploring your body at this age is trying new things. Children are growing and like whatever they like. If they love Elsa cause it's a new movie and it's cool then let them be Elsa. Explain to the parents it's normal. Telling the child no and not letting them explore always makes it harder because now we have to say why and might make the future much harder. Let the father know it's okay and to not me afraid to explore with them. Know their limits on what's appropriate and not. It takes a villiage :)

Reply
Roshani Fating
11/19/2018 09:06:50 pm

I think that it is age appropriate. Children at this age like to dress up and be imaginary people and thats what I will tell my parents. If the parent highly objects to it I would try to come to a comprimise.

Reply
colette
11/21/2018 06:41:25 pm

I would calm the parent down first and tell them it is age appropriate at this age and there is no cause for concern. that children have great imaginations at these age and they like to play dress up

Reply
Annie Li
11/23/2018 04:03:35 pm

The behavior is normal for a child.
Reassure the parents that this a safe environment for children to play, learn, and growth. The child could potentially become a great actor in the future. Parents, teachers, and caregivers are here to nurture individual exploration/curiosity.

Reply
Jennilee Flores
11/24/2018 01:11:57 pm

Yes it is age appropriate because around those ages is when children start to express themselves or explore different things. Although parents may be upset I will reassure them that they are just playing and it is nothing serious. No promises can be made that their child won't dress up in a dress again but I will try to prevent the student from dressing up in a dress just to respect the parents decisions.

Reply
Michelle
11/24/2018 05:30:16 pm

I think the children's behavior is age appropriate. I would explain to the parents that this sort of imaginative play in children is completely normal. Since the parent's concerned that their children will be "confused" I would talk to them about the value of imaginative play, perhaps comparing it to imaginative play the parent may have previously shown comfort with, and giving them more information about the value of imaginative play. Since the parent was concerned about "teasing" I would address that it was unlikely, since the other children used the dress up materials in similar ways, and also how it would be handled if a child did make a comment about it, coaching to use kind words, that all children could play with all the toys and there was not a wrong way to use the dress up materials. I would not try to prevent the boys from using the dress up as desired, but to prevent the upset parent I could preemptively give parents joining the program information about imaginative play, among other resources.

Reply
Jason
11/24/2018 09:24:07 pm

I would say it is expected for a preschooler to have imaginary play and would let the parent know that it's typical for any child to explore as they are not primed with our societal norms at that time. I would be clear on my stand point on the matter, that I have no problem with it, but if it is something that the parent would like to change in order to accommodate to their needs I'd partake in the conversation with their child but honestly would start with asking the child what they think and have them lead as to why they dressed up. I think then the parent would have a better understanding of their need to explore.

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Kenneth
11/25/2018 12:20:25 pm

Yes it is normal. Talking with the parents and understanding the origin of their worries (is it cultural, is it purely religious) can help us come up with a solution that will benefit the child even if we need to redirect the child to use other type of costumes.

Reply
Alysha Phelps
11/25/2018 06:48:19 pm

1) This is appropriate play, studies have shown young children need to play dress up to gain a sense of self as well as practice and try out gender expression. Not restricting clothes based on gender allows kids to grow up more confident in their gender and body as well as have better understanding and respect for other genders.
2)I could explain to the parent the concepts from above as well as guide them towards their own readings in this subject. I could also talk to them about steps taken to discourage teasing of any kind while they are at school.
3) We could have articles about these subjects available in the parent resource center as well as providing many types of costumes for all gender types so the kids can mix match and express in more non binary or typical ways.

Reply
Darci
11/26/2018 01:41:22 pm

I would explain that this is developmentally appropriate and that preschool children just like to dress up as different things. If the parent does not want the boy to dress up as a princess because of the family's cultural or religious preferences, we would have to have a conference to communicate clear expectations so that I could best support this family.

Reply
Adiara Diabate
11/26/2018 09:13:21 pm

I would explain to the parent(s) that this behavior is age appropriate because at this age, children usually don't have any strict concept of gender. They are more interested in exploration what they like because it's fun or cool.

I would also tell them that this is part of imaginary play which is only 30 minutes of the day. If they insist, I might stop this specific child from dressing up as a girl but will not involve other kids.

In the future, I might pre-warn parents of the type of activities that we do and explain their necessity so they understand.

Reply
Jennifer Sharp
11/28/2018 06:04:34 am

I would listen to the parents and let them know that it is normal for kids to want to try out different perspectives. I think the most important thing in this case is to make sure the parents feel heard and reassured that it is a normal situation.

Reply
Talia
11/28/2018 11:04:58 pm

This type of behavior is very appropriate and normal at this age. I feel that if the parent or teacher were to tell them that they cant express/share his imagination he is not going to feel secure and not going to want to share things with you verbally, or physically show you anything. It would be good to sit down with the parent and explain that you are very open about letting the children use their imaginations in a positive playful manner and that it is normal for the children to act as different people and genders.

Reply
Dean Proudfoot
11/29/2018 02:04:38 pm

I do think the behavior of the children is age appropriate because children like to try out different things .
I would talk to the pae
rents and explain that children need to try out different things . this does not mean their child will be gay
I dont think I would want to do anything to make this situation happen again because children need to explore.

Reply
Victoria DeanEwing
11/29/2018 10:14:55 pm

This behavior us completely normal and appropriate for this age group. Would tell the parents the same, and that this is how children express creativity, explore, imagine and they learn about themselves. They are simply acting out different parts and role playing. I would assure them that negative comments and teasing will be redirected and discouraged. If they parents absolutely object this I would give the child more choices of male dress up and try to redirect them.

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Carol Noe
12/1/2018 11:49:17 am

the behavior of dress up is good. It allows the child to mimic real life, just like they mimic what mommy and daddy do. To the child, boys AND girls wear pants, so dresses are the same thing. To them, its normal, not weird. I would gently remind the parents that almost all children go through the doctor phase and the firefighter phase and the teacher phase and the playing house phase and the teacher phase. They see something new and want to learn about it so they learn through play. Its not surprising that they go through a princess phase too. They need the chance to explore the world they live in with support from their family.

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Gaby
12/3/2018 01:47:59 pm

Yes this is appropriate behavior for this age. Children are curious and will explore different things. I will let the parent know that this is the case. In order to prevent this from happening again I will communicate with all parents that we will be doing dress up and will not be restricting the children in what they can or cannot try on.

Reply
Elizabeth Mahoney
12/3/2018 02:20:25 pm

Preschool Scenario
You have been running your own family child care home for a couple of years and have an extensive collection of dress up clothes that the children adore. A parent has just started her three and four year old sons in your program and seems very upset when he comes to pick his boys up and finds them dressed as princesses. This parent is concerned that dressing up in girl’s clothes is inappropriate for boys and will cause them to be confused and teased. You are also upset because the boys love dressing up and you don’t want to restrict children’s imaginative play.

​Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate?
If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers?
Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again?

1. I think this is very age appropriate.
2. I would explain to the parents that this is very age appropriate for their sons. And that there is nothing to worry about. I would also explain that if we try and stop them from doing so that it might cause a negative experience for them in the future. And may not want to dress up with anything in the future.
3. There is nothing to prevent.

Reply
Kaylin M Hong
12/3/2018 09:11:24 pm

​Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate?
If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers?
Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again?

I believe it is age appropriate. this is the age when children are beginning to experiment and try new things for themselves, also looking at how other people react to the things they are trying.
I would explain how Kids will want to be trying out things for themselves and they might not recognize that they are doing this as a princess, but that they know princesses are cool and loved (people always have princess toys, they are "cool")
and that this won't negatively affect their child in the future. I would offer to have more things set up so their child would have a greater variate of choices next to the princess costume. but that I would not stop them from dressing up in a costume they choose of their own free will.

Reply
Genesis Kelley
12/5/2018 05:08:08 pm

Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate?
If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers?
Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again?

I know this situation very well, it is honestly very hard to see a parent upset at their child for playing pretend due to social standards. This behavior is very normal for children to do especially being the age of 2-4yr. Boys at this age never really see anything wrong with simply putting a dress on, same for girls pretending to be dads when playing house. I would calmly talk to the parents and explain that this is very normal and it is a safe environment for them to explore in, teasing is not tolerated in this setting as well. I believe telling the child not to dress up as a girl could be more harmful.

Reply
Ryan
12/6/2018 06:15:41 pm

While the behavior is totally fine, the parents expectations of their child are slightly off. Since they are children, with no concept of how the larger society around them works, they won't understand why people might tease or ridicule them for wearing dresses. I would explain to the parent that it is totally normal for boys and girls to try experimenting with different personalities, and character types in their play groups, and the parents are projecting their own insecurities onto the children. While it may seem like a big deal, it is just play, no different than a child pretending to be a cowboy, or an astronaut, or a puppy. They will try it, it will be fun for them, and they will move on. I would also explain that telling them no will not help, or deter them, because they won't understand why it's considered bad, only that their parents are upset they are doing it.

Reply
Caitlin
12/8/2018 12:23:58 pm

I think that boys dressing up is completely normal, they are expressing their imagination and creativity in a fun way.

I would tell them that it is normal for children to pretend to be something they are not. It is normal and healthy and children should not have their imagination restricted.

If this situation happened again I would have a sit down with the parents and express the importance of creativity to them and hope they would understand that it is okay for boys to dress up and our center is a safe environment for them to do so.

Reply
Kaitlynn McCabe
12/8/2018 03:22:34 pm

1. I definitely thing the behavior is age appropriate.
2. I would tell the father that they are just pretending and it is good for imagination regardless if it was a dress or a tux.
3. Ask the father if there are any alternatives he would like you to try instead or maybe suggest a different option for the child dressing up if it is going to be an ongoing problem.

Reply
cassandra l guenther
12/8/2018 06:35:30 pm

little boys and girls both love to dress up. with boys tending to love to wear dresses. when the mom is upset you explain to her that when we play dress up we talk about how it is pretend and that it is just playing and not real. let her know that the boys choice this things not because they are confused but because it is fun. also if the parent really doesn't like her boys in dresses that i would either have her explain to her boys why she didn't want them dressing up or i would make sure that when mom comes to pick up that the boys are not in dresses,

Reply
Brandie Storck
12/9/2018 04:47:30 pm

1. I believe this would be age appropriate. Children have open/innocent minds so when they dress up or play with girls toys, they do not look at the big picture. They see a toy that they want to play with.
2. Children are teased for many reasons but it should be controlled in the beginning before it goes too far.I would explain to the parent that it is a no bullying facility and we wouldn't allow that to happen. I would also explain that it is normal for a child that age to want to play with girls toys.
3. Yes, I would role play with children and teach them how to be nice and not have negative interactions. They would also have to learn how to get along better.

Reply
Andrea Kornfeind
12/9/2018 08:01:33 pm

Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate? Yes, because the child is exploring roles and scenarios they see around them.

If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers? That this is natural behavior for both genders. Children need to explore different roles to make sense of what those roles are. Plus imaginative play should be encouraged not stifled

Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again? Ask other suggestions/preferences the parents have or have a different activity happening when the parents pick up.

Reply
Eileen Doherty
12/10/2018 03:35:44 pm

It is age-appropriate for 3-4 year old children to dress up imaginatively. I think that the dramatic play area can be set up to be much more activity-specific than gender specific, but I would not feel it was necessary to remove costumes; to do so sends a confusing message as well. I would explain this to the parents, and invite them to observe the children in the class, and assure them that bullying isn't tolerated.

Reply
Jennifer Hanson
12/11/2018 05:24:57 pm

Yes, this is very age appropriate for 3 and 4 year old boys to want to dress up in princess clothes. At this age they consider everyone equal and other than looking different than girls they don't see much differences. I would explain to the parents that we set out a variety of different things for the children to choose and want them to explore everything and learn the differences as they go along. It will not make them turn gay just because they dressed in a dress a couple of times. I would find ways to interact with the children through role playing and creating different scenarios so the children will feel comfortable in trying a variety of different things. If it continued to be a problem with the parent and their child, I would suggest other things for the boys to do so it won't upset the parents in the future.

Reply
Kayla
12/13/2018 07:54:36 pm

yes this common for children in this age group and very appropriate. I would explain to the parents that their child is learning through imaginative role play, exploring gender rolls, and exploring self identity. I would also explain to the parents that their is no bulling or testing allowed we all share a safe place to learn and explore

Reply
Sarah
12/15/2018 09:29:40 pm

This is a natural behavior for this age group. I would let the parents know that i hear what they are saying but then explain how at the ages of 4 and 5, children are starting to learn about each others differences and that dressing up as the opposite gender is just one way for them to realize the differences between boys and girls. I would try to prevent this in the future by teaching the children and their families that everyone is different and that teasing and bullying can hurt and cause serious harm to someone, so it is not tolerated at the center.

Reply
Katelin Fisher
12/15/2018 11:09:10 pm

Preschool Scenario
You have been running your own family child care home for a couple of years and have an extensive collection of dress up clothes that the children adore. A parent has just started her three and four year old sons in your program and seems very upset when he comes to pick his boys up and finds them dressed as princesses. This parent is concerned that dressing up in girl’s clothes is inappropriate for boys and will cause them to be confused and teased. You are also upset because the boys love dressing up and you don’t want to restrict children’s imaginative play.


I would let the parent know that I understand they don't want their boys to be teased or confused. I would let them know that dressing up in another genders clothing is a normal developmental behavior. The children are naturally curious and are exploring playing different roles and should have the ability to do so in a safe classroom space. It helps them recognize and understand differences. It gives them the opportunity to develop an understanding of others and self. Explain the depth of the play and the interactions the children are having while engaging in the dramatic dress up play to strengthen your reasoning why this play is beneficial for the children.

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Jessica Rodriguez-Diaz
12/16/2018 11:21:36 am

This behavior is completely normal and appropriate for the age group. Children are still leaning and discovering who they are and/or what they like. Limiting any form of play can do more harm.

I would explain to the parents / coworkers that this is normal behavior for their age and we should not interfere in their free play.

Thinking ahead to avoid this situation, I would explain to the parents about the type of playing children partake in and why it is normal and appropriate and nothing to worry about.

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Kyrsten
12/16/2018 01:56:11 pm

I would explain that its normal for all children to explore and see things for themselves. I do not think it needs to be prevented.

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Jada Latimer
12/16/2018 02:13:31 pm

Yes it's appropriate every child learns through play and at this age it's appropriate for them to use their imagination through taking on different roles. I think it's important to focus more on the bullying aspect and talk to the kids that everyone is different and that that's okay and that it's acceptable to change roles sometimes.

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sarah
12/16/2018 02:56:46 pm

Preschool is for play! Dressing up and playing out imaginative scenes or things that the children have experienced in their daily life is a healthy and normal activity for preschool children. Making sure the parents and co workers at your school know this will be paramount to creating a safe environment for the children to explore in. Talk with your coworkers at the beginning of the year about healthy boundaries during playtime. Take up the topic of play at a parent evening. Make sure to create a space of inclusiveness in your class for diversity through communication and your own attitude.

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Stephanie Rogerson
12/16/2018 04:57:54 pm

Yes, I think that this is an appropriate age for this. Children aren't at the age yet where they realize the difference. I explain that having boys dress up as girls or vise versa is very common for that age. If any bullying did start, that child would get talked to by a provider.

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Hayley Aman
12/16/2018 10:12:57 pm

I would listen to their concerns and reassure them that it is completely normal for them to explore the opposite gender at this age. at this age at this age its a copy cat game.

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Mounika
12/16/2018 10:50:57 pm

I think at their age it is appropriate in his behavior.And I will explain to the parents that this is part of the imaginative play and exploring of their child.
I would listen to the parents concerns and make sure I addressed them respectfully and responsibly. I would insure the parent that in my class we talk about diversity and we are not allowed Teasing.
I can't say that i could or would prevent this from happening again. Students are free to express themselves in anyway and unless i had no other choice i would let the child do as they pleased since their not harming anyone.

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Jodie
12/17/2018 09:53:30 pm

I believe that this behavior is age appropriate. I would explain to the father that at this age the children are just exploring, playing and reenacting things that they have seen, and that many of their other male class mates have dressed up as princesses before. Also I would reassure the father that teasing and bullying is not tolerated and would be addressed right way. If the father continued to take issue with the boys dressing up as princesses I would make sure that there was plenty of other dress up options available to them.

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Ursula
12/19/2018 11:26:04 am

I do think this behavior is age-appropriate. Dressing up is normal and children are curious about other genders clothing. I would explain to the parent that we have zero tolerance for teasing so they shouldn’t be concerned about their children being bullied. That children are eager to learn and explore and this helps them develop. If the father continued to have an issue with the boys dressing up as princesses i would sit down with him and stress the importance of creativity and reassure him that this is a safe environment for them.

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Tori
12/20/2018 01:12:36 pm

Yes I also think that this behavior is completely acceptable, dramatic play is an important part of development in this age group. It helps them explore different roles or reenact what they have seen, fostering social skills later in life. I would assure the parents and coworkers that this is a safe place for creativity which is very important for their development, and that plenty of other children do the same regardless of gender. And that it is not harmful for those little boys. I would assure them that we have a zero tolerance policy for bullying and would assure them that I would make sure that there were plenty of other Dress up options and rolls for them to explore. I would not restrict their choices during free play unless I had absolutely no choice.

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Lusine, Simonyan
12/21/2018 10:20:21 pm

I would explain that this behavior is normal for this age, it is part of the figurative game. I would assure them that there is nothing wrong with that and if they still have problems, I would try to solve their problem by inviting them to see how they play and how other children take them in class.

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maira y rosas
12/23/2018 07:27:06 pm

1) yes dressing up path this age is appropriate because it opens and expands their ability to imagine and explore their multiple ideas.
2) i would explain to them that we should embrace the child's creative side regardless of how it is expressed
3) instead of doing just female theme maybe try a more masculine themed activity to show both genders equally

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Ye Tao
12/26/2018 11:55:21 am

Yes, this behavior usually happens to the children who begin to develop the sense of gender, and it is very necessary for them to understand the differences between genders and the distinctive features. I will provide more masculine costumes and encourage him to try them on!

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Hannah
12/29/2018 02:22:14 pm

As a child care professional I know that the parents requests for their children are very important. The request of this parent is not a health and safety concern so therefore I would respect the parents request.

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Sheridan Turner
12/29/2018 03:40:41 pm

This behavior is completely age appropriate. I would explain to the family that dramatic play and dress up in young kids is about exploration and learning and not indicative of that child’s personality.

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karissa johnson
12/29/2018 06:23:49 pm

The behavior displayed i think is age appropriate, at this age kids are supposed to be using their imagination and making some choices for themselves. I would explain to the parents or my co workers just that. I could prevent the situation by just not putting out dress up clothes but that could limit the possibilities for growth.

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Noelle Low
12/29/2018 08:21:34 pm

I think it is completely normal behavior for this age. I would explain to the parent that this is a very imaginative age in child development. If it became a continuous issue for the parent I would attempt to redirect the child to a different activity.

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maria link
12/29/2018 09:14:55 pm

I think its okay it helps the children with their role play. at that age its important for kids to role play and have fun.

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Reese
12/29/2018 10:47:41 pm

Yes, this behavior is age-appropriate as preschoolers do not have much concept of gender roles/gender non-conformity quite yet.
I would in a non-defensive/non-judgmental way, explain that gender is a learned concept. Explain that kids are not encouraged by any gender bias but simply encouraged to be imaginative. It is very difficult and arguably harmful to limit a child's creativity in any way.
Ultimately there is nothing I can do to prevent this situation from happening again as I stated that it can be harmful in a child's development to discourage imaginative play such as dress-up or make believe. The only thing I--as a professional--can do is reassure parent's that this behavior is age-appropriate (and perfectly okay, as well) and further foster the child's creativity the best I can.

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Daniela Rodriguez
12/30/2018 12:18:51 am

Yes I do think that this behavior is appropriate for 3 to 5 year olds. I would explain this to the parent by first hearing the concerns that they have and reassuring any issues they have with their child's well being. Then I would tell them that it is not tolerated for any kids to bully or tease one another, and explain that many children play dress up and they are allowed to chose the costume to wear so their creativity and imagination is not being limited. To prevent something like this to happen again would be making sure that the parents understand that their imagination needs to be allowed to be free and that they are okay with their child wearing in whatever dress up they chose, or otherwise the costumes would just be put away.

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Amber
12/30/2018 12:45:50 pm

It is very normal and appropriate for children of this age to role play. That shouldn't be limited to a certain sex. I would explain to the parents that by dressing up as another person even of the opposite sex helps them to learn empathy and how to better respect each other. It reduces labels, prejudice, and bullying when children see that it is acceptable to pretend to be whatever you want. I would assure the dad that their sons are not the only boys that do that and that bullying is not tolerated. Hopefully this knowledge would help the parents be ok with this behavior in the future.

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Willow
12/30/2018 04:59:23 pm

Yes, its age appropriate. I would explain to the parent that the children are learning and exploring and dont see the clothes as female, but more as fun. In order to keep this from happening again i would switch out some of the "girls" selection and put more gender nuteral clothes

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Adilene Rodriguez
12/31/2018 08:24:55 am

​Do you think this behavior or expectation is age-appropriate?
If so, how could you explain this to the parents/co-workers?
Is there anything you can do to prevent this situation from happening again?
I do think this behavior is age-appropriate. At this age children's brains are developing and their imagination starts to grow. It is normal for boys to dress up in dresses or for girls to dress up in police officer suits, outfits considered "boy" or "girl" related jobs/dress up clothes to us are nothing but fun toys to the children. They are not yet limited by the idea that a dress is for girls or that a monster truck is for boys. I would explain to them that this behavior is normal for children their age and that there is no need for them to be upset. I would empathize with them and reassure them that there is nothing to worry about. I would explain to them, without pushing my views on them, that children need to indulge in dress-up play in order for their brain to continue developing. By restricting what they can and cannot play with, we are limiting the potential for growth and development. If they were still upset after we talked about the situation, I would try to suggest other forms of play the parents might be more comfortable with their children participating in that still allows their imagination to grow and their brain to develop in a way that is not harmful.

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Rachel Riana Ringoringo
12/31/2018 09:40:39 am

It is age-appropriate for the boy to engage with this type of behavior and I will explain to the parents that this is behavior normal shown as it allows the child to discover his identity by himself and is actually healthy brain development as it showcases curiousity.

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Rachel Ringoringo
12/31/2018 09:41:47 am

Also I do not particularly think that there is anything I can do to prevent this from happening again.

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Liliana Perez
12/31/2018 09:28:43 pm

I think its normal for a 2-5 year old boy to dress up as a fair or princess, it doesn't mean anything other than he is acting or playing a character in a game with friends. I would assure the parents that its completely normal for children to be doing that and that ill keep an eye out and make sure its only roleplay.

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