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A response is what the caregiver does in answer to a child’s actions. How you respond to children can help them to feel more connected or less connected. The more secure children are in their connection, the more they are able to build the “executive function” skills of self-management we talked about earlier. It is important to practice responses to children that help them connect with caregivers, guide their behavior, and prevent problems.
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The
first item, “Describe Children’s Actions” has many uses. When caregivers describe
actions instead of using praise, children receive clear information
about the specific actions that the caregiver values. Children then tend to
persist in those actions. Children who
hear a caregiver describe another child’s actions will often try those same
actions themselves.
This is a simple way to positively influence what goes on in the classroom. An added bonus is that children also feel really seen and cared about by their caregiver, building the connections that are so important to cooperative, involved, and sunny behavior. |
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Non-examples of positive responses
Rewards and stickers are not on this list. As adults, we hope to be acknowledged and paid for our work. Similarly, children sometimes benefit from receiving a tangible marker showing that they have done something important. Occasionally caregivers may use things like stickers or other treats to reward their efforts. However, it is important to exercise caution and not use this approach as your usual approach.
Children benefit most by learning themselves and by contributing to the life of the center or home. Behavior is best guided by actually paying attention to children and giving them cues that help them know what to do and how to behave. So while it is true that children will work for physical evidence of their abilities, rewards can slide over into becoming a way of manipulating them into doing it. Manipulation is not a behavior we want to model for children or have them absorb so we need to avoid it ourselves.Therefore, if you find your attention straying from paying attention to the child to focusing on the reward, you may find that stickers and rewards are counter-productive. If you find a child insisting they want to be “paid,” it’s time to move away from rewards and re-invest in responses like Special Time that “pays attention” to the child instead of to the sticker chart.
Punishment is also not on this list. While punishment can stimulate immediate compliance, it does not work to improve children’s ability to think and manage their own behavior. A child who has been hit, shamed or blamed for off-track behavior feels less connected, less seen, and less able to function. Therefore the child is less able to respond in the caring, cooperative, sensible ways that they could if they did feel connected. She is less able to carry out the tasks of executive function.
Rewards and stickers are not on this list. As adults, we hope to be acknowledged and paid for our work. Similarly, children sometimes benefit from receiving a tangible marker showing that they have done something important. Occasionally caregivers may use things like stickers or other treats to reward their efforts. However, it is important to exercise caution and not use this approach as your usual approach.
Children benefit most by learning themselves and by contributing to the life of the center or home. Behavior is best guided by actually paying attention to children and giving them cues that help them know what to do and how to behave. So while it is true that children will work for physical evidence of their abilities, rewards can slide over into becoming a way of manipulating them into doing it. Manipulation is not a behavior we want to model for children or have them absorb so we need to avoid it ourselves.Therefore, if you find your attention straying from paying attention to the child to focusing on the reward, you may find that stickers and rewards are counter-productive. If you find a child insisting they want to be “paid,” it’s time to move away from rewards and re-invest in responses like Special Time that “pays attention” to the child instead of to the sticker chart.
Punishment is also not on this list. While punishment can stimulate immediate compliance, it does not work to improve children’s ability to think and manage their own behavior. A child who has been hit, shamed or blamed for off-track behavior feels less connected, less seen, and less able to function. Therefore the child is less able to respond in the caring, cooperative, sensible ways that they could if they did feel connected. She is less able to carry out the tasks of executive function.
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